you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize