Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
