I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
