Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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