Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ThisCantBeReal hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(281): View more from Texas

I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.

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(760): View more from California

Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?

Fav 12 4087 904
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(208): View more from Idaho

U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

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(740): View more from Ohio

We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk

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(770): View more from Georgia

I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.

Fav 6 2838 768
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(419): View more from Ohio

Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.

Fav 14 1847 969
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(425): View more from Washington

I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.

Fav 1 96 14
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(210): View more from Texas

I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning

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