so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
