So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
