Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
