i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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