So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
