Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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