So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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