It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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