I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
