How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
