I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
