ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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