ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
