I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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