I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
