Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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