The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I want her autograph on my taint
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
