Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize