we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
