I just cut my nipple shaving
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
