ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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