ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
