you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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