who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
