Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
