just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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