dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
