1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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