Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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