): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
