Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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