my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
