is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
