4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
