hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
