I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
