this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
