rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
