i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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