It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
