Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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