White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
