Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
