I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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