They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
