I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
