How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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