I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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