Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
