Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
