Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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