Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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